queenchrissycumberbatch:

my friendship comes in 3 levels:

1) sass 

2) insults

3) inappropriate sexual humor. 

brbagifs:

pajamaben:

stealing is a crime AND drugs is a crime too BUT if you steal drugs the two crimes cancel out and it is like basically doing a good. trust me i am a lawyerman

erewolves:

weirdnessloveandscifi:

I love how when fan-fiction writers have friends in the fandom, to demonstrate their friendship, they dedicate porn to one another.

I think that’s lovely.

#i love you bro #have this dirty fucking

sadfrogmemer:

for just a an easy payment of only $19.95 you can punch me in my stupid fucking face! And if you order right now, you get an extra punch FREE! But wait, there’s MORE!! Order now and we’ll give you an extra TWO punches! just punch me in the fucking face

retroactiveeurydices:

oxheadandhorsefacearedead:

retroactiveeurydices:

koalatea:

i dont need a boyfriend i need 12 million dollars and a donut 

12 million dollars can be used to obtain many donuts.

explain how

money can be exchanged for goods and services

Aries: Hides in closets and screams demonically at night
Taurus: Doesn’t really do much, usually found in inanimate objects.
Gemini: Knocks shit over, scrapes nails against walls, smashes glass.
Cancer: Comforts small children, protects their loved ones. Acts as a guardian angel.
Leo: Terrorizes crowds, has a soft spot for children.
Virgo: Rearranges everything, frequently haunts the same place.
Libra: Shows up in mirrors, leaves clues where to find them.
Scorpio: Seeking revenge, haunts people that did them wrong.
Sagittarius: Sets shit on fire.
Capricorn: Summons Lucifer in people’s houses
Aquarius: Possesses people.
Pisces: Little girl ghosts, often plays with other little kids and becomes their “best friend.” Can be either good or bad.