Micheletto decided to pledge himself to Cesare Borgia in under sixty seconds for a variety of reasons, most of which were reasonable, like:
1) Working for the pope’s son is a better gig than working for a cardinal who may or may not succeed in killing the pope and then staying in favor once a new pope is anointed
2) Probably it would pay better
3) Cesare seems wayy more competent than Orsini, since Orsini hired Micheletto specifically to do this poisoning thing that Micheletto’s kind of doubtful about, which has resulted, obviously, in Cesare catching Micheletto in the act
4) and Micheletto absolutely values competence, and would rather work for someone who knows what the fuck he’s doing and won’t send Micheletto on assassination trips likely to get him killed.
5) This particular assassination attempt is doomed anyway, so why not make the best of things
Headcanon B: what I think is fucking hilarious
Micheletto decided to pledge himself to Cesare Borgia in under sixty seconds because:
1) Cesare looked at him like this:
grinning and breathless and visibly having fun, almost as fast as Micheletto and just as cruel.
2) Cesare kept grinning at him when he shoved Micheletto into a wall with his hand on the back of Micheletto’s neck like he was a fucking dog
3) and Micheletto, an obvious masochist and brutally stupid romantic, fell in love instantly.
4) While I think this is fucking hilarious, I also absolutely believe it’s true.
Headcanon C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
There’s a world where Micheletto chooses Pascal instead of Cesare.
He’s happy, in that world.
Headcanon D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
Micheletto, the most A Poet a person can possibly be while being absolutely illiterate, ghost-writes the poems of Pietro Bembo while living in Ferrara as Lucrezia’s personal bodyguard/secret pet assassin, Cyrano de Bergerac style. As in, he sits there and brusquely, scowlingly dictates these lush gorgeous love poems to Bembo, who writes them down and sends them to Lucrezia.
The Evil Lair 